The Seagull

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand.

The boy asked his father, “Dad, what happened to the birdie?”

His dad told him, “Son, the bird died and went to heaven.”

Then the boy asked, “And God threw him back down?????”

Boy’s dad, “?????!!!!!%%$$^_^’’&&”

A Matter of Punctuation

An English professor wrote the words, ‘Woman without her man is nothing” on the board and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

Keep Taking Pictures

A concerned mother picked up her daughter at school during a rainy day. All day the wind whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. She was worried that her daughter would be frightened.

When she reached her daughter’s school, she saw her small child walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up at the sky, and smile. One flash followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking at the streak of light and smiling.

Finally, the mother called and asked, “What are you doing!”

Her child answered, “I’m smiling for God, He keeps taking pictures of me.”

Foreign Language

A mother mouse and her baby are walking along, when all of sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat runs away.

“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby.

“Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?” ^.^

Do You Know Who I Am?

“I think the principal is a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.

“Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.

“No,” replied the boy.

“I’m the principal’s daughter,” said the girl.

“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.

“No,” she replied.

“Thanks God!!!” said the boy with a sigh of relief, and run off.

Parents

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, “I’m really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried sick!”

The other kid says, “What have you go to worry about? Sounds to me like you don’t have anything to worry about.”

The first kid says, “What if they try to escape?”

Scores

When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got 100 in school today.

Her dad, “Great! Let’s sit down and tell me more about it.”

Suzy, “Well, I got a 20 in Math, a 30 in Science, and a 50 in Writing!”

Suzy’s dad, “------T_T’’------“

Shop Lifter

An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge, he asked her, “What did you steal?”

She replied, “A can of peaches.”

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was angry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. When she replied six, the judge then said, “I will give you six days in jail.”

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, somebody spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”

“Your honor, I’m her husband. She also stole a can of peas.”

Store Keeper

Costumer, “Do you have any cockroaches?”

Clerk, “Yes, we sell them to the fishermen.”

“I would like 20,000 of them.”

“What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?”

“I’m moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it.”

How Comic Conquered The World

Did you know that thousands of years ago, people communicated through comics? In the ancient Incan Empire (1000 AD), hieroglyphs (or panels of sequential pictures) were the symbols used to describe many things people did and saw. We can see these pics on the walls of the Pyramids in Peru. So, comics are not a modern invention.

Comics, or sequential arts, came to prominence in the form of comic strips in the late 19^th century. Before that time, people were used to enjoying single illustrations. But in the 1890s, New York newspaper began putting in ‘series of illustrations to convey a single message’ (or sequence). Some of the most famous comic strips at that time were Yellow Kid, drawn by Richard Felton Outcalt (NY World, 1895), and Little Nemo in Slumberland, a story about a little boy who travels in dreams. The comic captured children’s as well as adults’ hearts because of the imaginative and surrealistic drawings.

USA

As the printing process improved, publication were popular, and so did comics. In the 1930s, some comic companies emerged in USA. One of them was DC Comics. They created Superman, one of the most memorable comics superheroes, in 1938. A year after, Batman was born from the same company. Unlike Superman’s creator Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, Batman’s creator, Bob Kane, was also a sharp businessman. He managed to get profits from all Batman comics, films, and merchandise, so he became very rich. On the other hand, Superman’s creator died in poverty.

Marvel Company was the main competitor of DC. In this company, characterlike Spiderman, X-Men, Daredevil, Hulk, and Iron Man were born. The most imprtant person at Marvel was Stan Lee, who has written hundreds of comics in the Marvel universe. Another creator, Will Eisner, was even dubbed ‘the Godfather of Comics’, because of his tremendeous contributions. He produced new kind of comics: graphic novels, and influential ‘how-to-draw’ books.

JAPAN

The word ‘manga’ for Japanese comics is actually derivedfrom drawing style of an 18^th century artist, Katsusshika Hokusai. In 1814, he called his illustrations ‘manga’, meaning ‘silly or comical illustration’. After WorldWar II, comics bloomed in Japan. To cut the expensive cost, the publisher mae comics in black and white and on cheap paper. One manga-ka (illustrator) named Ozamu Tesuka started a unique style that became the trademark of the Japanese manga we know today: Colorful cover with black and white content, big-eyed characters, speedy lines to convey movement, cinematic pace. Tezuka made Astro Boy, which is still famous. There are two distinctions of manga: shounen (boys’ comics) and shoujo (girls’ comics). Shounen consist of action, adventures, and sports stories, while shoujo deals with drama and romance stories. Shoujo became popular in the 60s. The manga-kas were mostly female teenagers.

The popularity of manga, along with anime (animated manga) has grown so strong in the following decades. Manga came to the US in the late 1980s. One title called Akira, made by Katsuhiro Otomo, captured the hearts of millions of American fans and inspired many comic artists. Another one, Ghost in the Shell by Masamune Shirow, was also very big in the US. It inspired filmmakers the Wachowskis Brothers to make the Matrix movies. Don’t forget the spiky hero Son-Goku from Dragonball, created by Akira Torayama. This is allegedly the best selling manga around the world. In Japan, Dragonball is read by one-third of the total population.

EUROPE

Not many English references can be found about European comics, mainly because of the language. Each country in Europe produces its own comics to be sold locally. Only a few cross

boundaries. The history of European comics is pretty much the same as that of the US. Comics started blooming in the 1930s. Tintin was the pioneer after it appeared in the weekly Petit Viengtieme in Belgium. Created by Herge, Tintin is a journalist who embarks upon exciting and dangerous adventures around the world.The European comic style was established: sophisticated stories, realistic figures and background, full colour, big sized

comics between 48 to 64 pages. Asterix from France was another success. It began in 1959 by Goscinny. Asterix and Tintin achieved worlwide success, having been reprinted many times and translated into over dozens of languages, and made into films.

Some major European comics publishers include Dargaud, Castermann, and Dupuis. Only a few of their publications are sold in USA or Asian countries. It’s too bad, since the quality of European comics are far above the generic manga or superhero comics.

INDONESIAN

Indonesian comics established itself in the 1950s, following the Western trend of comic strips in newspapers. In 1953 Kwik Ing Hoo created Anak Rimba, with obviously influenced by Tarzan. But the most popular genre were the ‘Wayang’ stories, adapted freely from ancient epics. In 1995 R.A. Kosasih made the longlasting comic Mahabharata, while in 1956 Ardisoma made Wajang Purwa. Humourous comic strips were also popular. In 1951 Inri S. made Dagelan Petruk-Gareng, about the silly chronicles of the wayang royal guards in the modern world. Its popularity still continued untill the 1980s. Other notable creators were Kho Wan Gie and Gwei Kwat Siong. They made regular cimic strips about the daily life of average people.

People said the golden era of Indonesian comics was in the 1960s and 70s. in the 1960s, Indonesian comics found its ardent audience with the appearance of the now-legendary creators such as Teguh Santosa, Hans Djaladara, Oerip, Hasmi, etc. They made mostly martial arts, or ‘silat’ comics, the most popular genre at that time. Hans made Panji Tegkorakin 1968, and later it was turned into a movie. Ganes TH created Si Buta dari Gua Hantu in 1970, and it was also turned into a series of very successful films. Other than silat comics, new genres became popular, such as romance (Jan Mintaraga with Tinggalkan Adikku, 1975), fairy tales (Hadrian with Puteri Murung, 1972), and most notably, Superhero comics (Wid NS with Godam). Although the Indonesian superheroes were mostly copied from Americancunterparts, they were memorable because of the quality illustrations and exciting stories. Godam was modeled after Superman. Gundala was influenced by the Flash. Laba2 Merah was inspired by Spiderman.

When the Japanese manga trend exploded in Indonesia in the 1990s, Indonesian comics were nowhere to be found. This trend has continued until today. Go to the bookstores, and you'll see shelves after shelves of Japanese comics with their thick and black and white comics in small sized binding. Do you know that, hidden among them, are Indonesian comics masquerading as manga? Yes, now, many Indonesian illutrators use Japanese aliases and draw comics in a 100% manga style, in the hope that people who buy the books will think they are genuinely imported from Japan. How pathetic is that? Not all hope is lost, though. Nowadays, some independent publishers are determined to bring back the glory of Indonesian comics. They publish comics in various sizes and genres. However, it’s sn uphill struggle.To be continued........

Pada suatu hari, di sebuah rumah sakit ada seorang pejabat pemerintah yang sedang sioperasi otaknya. Setelah selesai, kemudian kepala pejabat tersebut dijahit kembali. Kemudian para dokter pun mencuci tangan. Tak lama kemudian salah seorang pembantu dokter tergesa-gesa ke arah dokter-dokter tersebut sambil berteriak, “Waduh Dok, gawat...otak si pasien masih teringgal di luar.” Dengan tenang salah seorang dokter menjawab, “Yaaaa...biar sajalah, toh tidak ada pengruhnya, biasanya juga otaknya nggak pernah dipake...”

Suatu ketika ada tamu negara yang datang. Tetapi presidan dan stafnya tidak dapat menjemput. Kemudian tugas itu diserahkan kepada gubernur ibu kota untuk menjemputnya di bandara. Karena tugas ini mendesak, maka gubernur berangkat dengan tergesa-gesa. Didalam perjalanannya, mobil yang ditumpangi gubernur bersama supir dan ajudannya menggunakan kecepatan tinggi sehingga menjelang sampai di bandara, kendaraan bapak gubernur bertabrakan dengan truk tangki minyak di persimpangan jalan yang menyebabkan mobil mercedes gubernur tersebut mengalami kerusakan berat.
Para korban ditangani oleh beberapa dokter ahli pada sebuah rumah sakit. Setelah diperiksa, didapat hasil bahwa supir dan ajudan gubernur mengalami gegar otak. Para wartawan yang kebetulan berkumpul di rumah sakit itu bertanya-tanya bagaimana halnya dengan gubernur, apakah beliau juga menderita gegar otak.
Mereka lalu menanyakan kepada sang dokter ahli, “ Dok, bagaimana dengan gubernur?”
Lalu dokter itu menjawab, “Lukanya cukup banyak, tapi beliau tidak gegar otak!”
“Mengapa Dok, kok hanya gubernur sendiri yang tidak gegar otak?” tanya si wartawan lagi.
Sang dokter ahli menjawab lagi, “Lha, otaknya aja nggak ada, bagaimana ia bisa gegar otak.”
Wartawan, “haaaaaaaaaaa...........$^%&#HU&%$3&8.....(melongo diiringi dengan senyum lebar)”


Suatu hari di Uni Soviet pada zaman kekuasaan Nikita Kruschev sebagai perdana menteri, terjadi huru-hara dan demonstrasi yang menentang pemerintahan. Lalu seorang mahasiswa tertangkap waktu itu karena meneriakan kata-kata “Kruschev Babi...Anjing”
Lalu ia diadili dan dijatuhi hukuman oleh pengadilan setempat sebagai berikut : (I) 9 bulan penjara – karena menghina kepala negara; (II) hukuman seumur hidup di Siberia, why????????????? – karena dia membocorkan rahasia negara.




Tanpa banyak tanya seorang lelaki buta dengan pakaian parlente menuju gedung bioskop yang ber-AC. Tentu saja hal ini merepotkan petugas. Setelah dibantu membelikan karcis, dia dituntun masuk ke dalam, kemudian duduk di bangku sesuai dengan nomor ditanganya, juga tanpa bertanya. Dia merasa terhibur dengan musik yang mengalun di dalam gedung tersebut. Sambil mengangguk-angguk kepala, dia mencobamenyalakan rokok. Seorang petugas pun mendekatinya dan menegur, “Maaf, dilarang merokok di sini, Pak!”
“Ngomong-ngomong ... jam berapa bus ini berangkat?”
“Huwaaa.....Ini bukan bus malam, Pak. Ini gedung bioskop!” jawab si petugas dengan tegas.


Suatu saat di pinggir jalan ada seorang supir baru yang kebingungan karena mesin mobilnya hilang. Ia telah melapor kepada polisi. Polisi telah datang dan memang benar mesin mobil itu tidak ada lagi. Pada waktu mereka kebingungan, datanglah seorang gila. Ia bertanya, “Ada apa?”
“oh, ini mesin mobil saya hilang dicuri orang,” kata supir.
“Bukankah ini mobil VW?” tanya si orang gila kembali.
“Ya,” jawab si supir.
“Kalau begitu mesinnya tidak hilang tapi ada di bagian belakang,” kata si orang gila.
Mereka lalu membuka tutup bagian belakang mobil itu, dan memang benar mesinnya ada di situ. Si supir itu kemudian berkata, “Kamu kan gila, dari mana kau tahu bahwa mesinnya ada di belakang?”
“Ya saya gila tapi tidak bodoh seperti kau,” jawab si orang gila itu sambil pergi.

Di dalam sebuah oplet yang pengap tiba-tiba ada yang kentut. Baunya tidak enak sekali, sangat memabukkan. Tetapi tidak ada seorangpun yang mau mengaku, sehingga semua penumpang jengkel. Demuikian pula supirnya. Bagaimana akal pikir si supir???
Sampai di terminal Kampung Melayu semua penumpang turun dan membayar. Tetapi tiba-tiba si supir berteriak, “Yang tadi kentut belum bayar.”
Seorang laki-laki dengan spontan berkata,” Oh, saya sudah bayar kok, tadi uangnya sepuluh ribuan.”
Si supir hanya tersenyum dan berkata, “Jadi saudara yan kentut? Nah ketahuan deh siapa yang kentut.”


Seorang profesor diundang ke suatu pest makan malam yang diadakan oleh keluarga sahabatnya. Pesta itu berlangsung meriah sekali. Di tengah-tengah pesta tiba-tiba hujan turun dengan derasnya. Sampai larut malam hujan tidak juga reda. Tamu-tamu yang lain sudah pada pulang. Si profesor tidak dapat pulang karena rumahnya jauh dan ia tidak membawa kendaraan sendiri. Untuk pulang naik kendaraan umum tidak mungkin karena hujan sangat lebat, lagipula hari sudah larut malam. Akhirnya keluarga sahabatnya itu berkata, “Tidur di sini saja malam ini, Prof...’nanti kami siapkan kamarnya.”
“Baiklah kalau begitu,” jawab si profesor, “Tapi saya ambil piyama dulu di rumah, ya...”